(no subject)

so i cant veiw anyones stuff. i cant get to my freinds page and havent been able to for weeks. "secondary" im sorry if i havent gotten back to you about the rasputin thing. this is why i havent. idk whyi can update but i cant get into lj at all. gah. send me comments i can get them at my email address, if you need to get in tough with me.
  • Current Music
    commander venus

(no subject)

i dont even need a cigarrette tonight, to help me realize the significance in the small things. i feel like tonight, the smallest thing, could knock me off the earth. I love to look at the same spot for a good long while. You notice all the small things that are always accepted as norms. We really need to take the time to see everything. if only we had the time, to sit and watch the flowers grow.

if some people did this, they realize the significance in the people that surround them. How there really is more to some people than they have ever actually taken the time to see. Nobody knows what they want. Especially the people who say they know. Its usually right in their face, but even these people are too blind to see it.

its days like these, i want to grow up alone, and die that way.
  • Current Music
    Grace Cathedral Hill-The Decemberists

(no subject)

i think kids fuck up when they see sex as a recreational thing. its a race to to be sucked and fucked and all inbetween. sex is an expression. its how you feel, and how you want to make people feel. in this case actions really do speak louder than words and often in this it is the words or even just the meanings of the words can drive the actions. those three simple words can make a world of a difference in that one moment when you truly are someones world. sex is how you express the way you are feeling. your feeling up, you express yourself well. if your feeling down you express your self bad if at all. in the end it all sums up to, sex is an artform. make it your own. sex is inspired, never forced. i think that forced artists go into marketing. commercial photography, decals, advertisements. its just art you are forced to create right? expression has to flow. you cant damn the river of emotion. or atleast we shouldnt. art like sex derives from inspiration. it should be 99% inspiration and 1%perspiration, not vice versa.

love you.
  • Current Music

(no subject)

we dont really know pain and anguish, this is our lives. lets not be foolish and waste it being angry. we have so little time, in which we can partake in this sin. plant seeds of joy in your lives. play the music that shows how we should feel, an uplifting experience of ecstasy to elevate ones soul. can you feel it? your soul i mean. its there, dont drown it in sorrow.
  • Current Music

(no subject)

kids want to fuck too hard. its like theeee ultimate. you hear a song on the radio about how sweet the relationship is, and how nice he is after the lovin, and all of the these great things that could possibly happen in a relationship so what do you do? ya fuck your partner. this way you acehive the level of intimacy needed, with very little work(depending on how good you are at the sex). people arent understanding that in a song it is the finished the product. its like a diamond doesnt look very nice when its new, its the cuts that make it shine. somehow kids thing that if you rush up to the end it it all your roll off and there will be a nice diamond that those other fucktards took the time and effort to acheive. psh who wants to work at it when you can get your instant gratification. i dont mean to say music is the driving force behind stuff like this. its just concepts of the society we live in, or that we are exposed to. everone wants their ideal modern romance, unfortunately somehow the translator says, sex is the culmination of years of struggling to get to the point we see in movies. but why not skip ahead right. its almost like plaigarism. gah. i think im angry. dont you even fucking dare call me closeminded. i know some people do it the right way, sex or no sex. im just saying. its all one big quantitative thing, if i have fucked two sluts, and youve fucked three, you are obviosly the alpha male. then theres the drinking. thats almost a catalyst for the sex. i mean damn i wish i was so cool, to get wasted, laid, wake up feeling like shit, and then brag about how my parents dont care. hot damn, if people 50 years ago saw these aspirations of today, theyd shit thier pants and give a standing ovation. thats so goddamn hip it isnt even funny. the drunkest guy is the life of the party. the guy who is at home, and in 10 years will replace your kidney, is the loser, outcast, no one. thank god they are working hard so they donthave to right?

hey hey hey

fuck youuu
  • Current Music
    stockholm syndrome

(no subject)

The boys i mean are not refined
They go with girls who buck and bite
They do not give a fuck for luck
They hump them thirteen times a night
One hangs a hat upon her tit
One carves a cross on her behind
They do not give a shit for wit
The boys i mean are not refined

They come with girls who bite and buck
Who cannot read and cannot write
Who laugh like they would fall apart
And masturbate with dynamite

The boys i mean are not refined
They cannot chat of that and this
They do not give a fart for art
They kill like you would take a piss

They speak whatever's on their mind
They do whatever's in their pants
The boys i mean are not refined
They shake the mountains when they dance
  • Current Music
    just a phase

(no subject)

il never forget:
the first time i held handsw with heather, i felt like such a deviant, it felt like i had discovered magic.

holding hands with ashley in the middle of class, i thought she was so pretty.

telling katie how beautiful the stars were that night at lukes, i thought it was so nice that we could see every last star, and especially with someone you really cared about.

the way me and marie, had this happy go lucky relationship, and how she tried to keep my hands warm in shayens car, and the way i felt, after she stood up for me that day.

the shy feeling i got whenever i saw arah walk by, and laughed because we knew what the other was thinking without even talking.

when viv called me from the incubus concert, and left a part of "wish you were here" in my messages.

the way erin had such a smaller hand than mine, but somehow always managed to fit perfectly in mine.

the way jessica always caught me off gaurd all the time, it was so funny, yet releiving.

"when its all said and done, what will i have to show for it?"

sometimes i think i want to date, for the concept of dating. the ideas you are left with before and after the climax that is a relationship. sex will never be as good as it seems. the more you think about it, the more your expectations will be shot. i think tony was right, that long time ago when he told me that my vice is that i think love is anything and everything. think being the keyword. i cant say iv experienced love like the endless romances that play through my mind, or see in a movie, or read in a book. thats why its a good idea to stop buying into fashion magazines, and mainstream television. it shows you what is possible, but cant have. like a scientist saying that time travel is possible, but goodluck trying to do it. but i know, i know all too well, we are all destined to find that one special person and theres so many people that someone has to be right for me. some people still die alone at 97 years old. its nice to buy into the concept of fate, and its easy to think so when you think big, like mairrage, death, and milestones in life. but i think its a little funny, to think that you sitting on a toilet pushing out some fat log is written on the scrolls of time as your fate.
  • Current Music
    iv been lost

(no subject)

so i think we should remind people how stupid they are on a dialy basis. or just mutter it to ourselves in efforts to reaffirm our intelligence. does anyone second this notion? (not directed at you hp) but does anyone notice how teenagers today, are only reading these oveplayed and tremendously overgeneralized teen-beating adversity-romance-coming of age novels? everyone and their mother is reading a novel in which a) a pregnant teenage girl overcomes the odds b) a boy and his unrequited love find a date to prom even though its not the preppy popular chick he initially wanted. any variations of this aswell,like "the perks of being a wallflower" dont get me wrong its a decent book, but i mean now its the hip thing to read books like this even though the book im sure is atleast a year and a half old. somehow it always ends up being some book, that justify's the actions of the reader. IE if the character gets drunk at a party and hooks up with someone its totally ok for them to go do the same. i swear i see kids like this everywhere, then they play themselves off as some sort of psuedo emotional teenagers that have all of these conveiniently hip problems and habits. will you slap them with a classic novel for me.

numero deux!

this is a slightly less evil rant. why do people think i get really good grades, and peopel think that im like heckuv smart and stuff. je ne comprende pas! people say its cuz i blurt french phrases constantly or because i "talk smart" so what do you guys htink. do you htink i get good grades, or why would people think i am smart?

word of the day.
bathos:unintended humor, resulting from soem sort of reasonable argument or statement"
ie "janine is smart, forceful, and will make you suck her cock all day and night."
  • Current Music
    the great decay